


Letters to Derek

by Ambrollins_PunkLee



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek is God knows where, Emotions, Letters, M/M, Stiles misses Derek, set after S4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 07:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5408132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambrollins_PunkLee/pseuds/Ambrollins_PunkLee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek left. He just up and left after Mexico and Stiles his struggling with it. So he decides to write letters to Derek that he plans on buring after he's finished.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how this is going to go.

Dear Derek,

WHAT THE HELL DUDE?!? Why did you just up and leave with not as much as a goodbye. I thought you'd at least say bye to me, I mean I did kinda see you almost die? But I've saved your ass so many times I deserved a good bye. Sourwolf I can't believe I'm going to say this but I miss you. 

I asked Deaton what I should do to vent out my anger and frustrations and he said write letters, that it could be to anyone. So I choose you. But I'm not going to send these, no way. They are going in to a shoe box and when I feel like I've wrote enough I'll burn them. Well anyways I have nothing else to say. So uh Bye?

\- Stiles.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo comes to town

Derek,

I decided to drop the dear part. It seemed to formal for me. Anyways today was senior sign night. Me and the pack seen your initIals. I have to admit I sign mine beside yours. 

That wasn't the only thing that happened tonight though. There was this werewolf that showed up to kill Scott but his claws were glowing electric blue. 

Then this guy shows up claiming to be mine and Scott's friends from fourth grade Theo. Something seems off about him. I'm not sure what yet. Everyone else thinks he's fine. I don't know. I think if you were here you'd believe me. Yeah? Well I'm going to stop writing now.

In till next time Sourwolf.

\- Stiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

Derek,

We found out that that guys claws were talons. Deaton thinks someone is trying to change the supernatural world. I don't know anymore Der, (can I even call you that? I will ways.) It seems like we can't catch a break. I know I shouldn't be mad at you for leaving, but damn it Derek I know we'll need you for the storm that is coming.

I tried to investigate Theo, by the way. I brought Liam with me. Which was a bad idea, he fell in a hole. You'd think for a werewolf he'd be more observant.

I was thinking, have you heard from Isaac? I kind of miss him.

I need to get something of my chest. I haven't been sleeping well. The events from the nogitsune still haunt me. 

You know? There's something freeing about writing these letters to you. I can tell you anything, but it's not like you're going to read these.

Well anyways I have to go it's already 2 am.

\- Stiles


	4. Chapter 4

Derek,

There is some freaky shit happening. There was a new Kanima. Her name was Tracy, she was different though. She could break through mountain ash. Then there was some freaky doctor things that Malia seen. Kira is losing control. Lydia got hurt.

Plain and simple, we are a mess Der.

Do you ever think of Erica and Boyd? I do all the time. Wish I could have done something. Just know that it wasn't your fault okay.

I got an email yesterday from Jackson, he was checking up on the pack and he told me something funny. He told me that you called him to see how he was doing. I'm glad you're checking on him. 

An American Werewolf in Lodon. It's pretty funny yeah?

How's Breaden? I was never really to fond of her to be completely honest. I don't know there's just something about her.

Malia's been acting strange lately. Me and her have grown apart if I'm being honest here. I think I'm going to break up with her.

Can i tell you something I haven't told anyone?

I'm bisexual. I found out last year. I just never really thought about it with all the stuff that has been going on.

God I miss you. Is that weird? It's not the same with out you and your judgemental eyebrows.

Der please come home.

\- Stiles


	5. Chapter 5

Derek,

Chimera Derek they are Chimeras. Tracy was part Kanima and werewolf. How is that even possible?

I talked to Malia today. It was awkward and tense. She knew before I said anything that I was breaking up with her.

We decided not to tell the others in till everything is over with. I just wanted to tell you I guess.

We found another Chimera.

I'm sitting the library trying to find out all the information I can on them. As you can probably tell I'm having no luck.

I'm not for sure what everyone else is doing at the moment. Is that bad? I guess I should head home. 

I'll talk to you in the next letter.

\- Stiles


	6. Chapter 6

Shit Derek I messed up. I messed up so much. Donovan attacked me as I was leaving the library. 

He put his hand on my shoulder and it felt like something was biting me.

So I ran away from him and into library, where there was a construction site.

I climbed a scalpel trying to get away from him and as I was climbing up he grabs ahold of my leg and told me that he was going to kill me and my dad.

I panicked, I reached for a pin the held that the scalping together and poles fell from it implaing Donovan.

Derek I killed him. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do.

What would my dad or Scott say?

The worst part is, when I went back to see of he was still there, he was gone and everything was cleaned up.

Der I need you here. I don't know what to do. I tried calling you but you didn't anwser.

You never anwser.

I feel like I'm falling apart, how do I cope with this it feels like something eating me up inside.

Dammit Derek why won't you answer your phone?

\- Stiles


	7. Chapter 7

Derek,

I didn't get much sleep last night Derek, I set up all night thinking about what happened, and I realised something. Scott is going to kicked me out of the pack if he finds out.

We all went to Eichen House, to ask Valack about this book he wrote about the dread doctors, he told us to read the book and that we will start remembering seeing them. Thing is I'm scared to remember them. 

Kira's powers affected the frequencies and the dread doctors interrupted we were trying to do. 

Derek I know I've said it before but I miss you. I honestly didn't know how much I would have missed you but I do and it kind of hurts because. I know if you were here you would believe me about Theo.

You would help me through this Donovan thing.

I have puncture wounds from Donovan, my shoulder hurts so bad and I think Malia know something's wrong with me.

I caught her looking at me weird a couple times, and I think she tried to smell my shoulder once. I don't know how long I can hide what happened.

Lydia knows I'm writing letters, she walked in on me while I was writing this one. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad one.

Der? When are you coming home? Do you evem consider this your home?

I talked to Cora yesterday. I surprised me when she called. She told me she was doing fine but couldn't get a hold of you, but then you called in the middle of our conversation and she hung up.

Are you ever going to talk to me again?

\- Stiles


	8. Chapter 8

Derek,

I'm freaking out. I seen my mom Der. We were at the hospital and all of a sudden my mom appeared. I followed her up to the roof, and she started screaming about me killing her and freaking out. Then she turned in to Josh that Chimera we've been looking for.

Theo showed up and killed him, and oh God Derek he knows about Donovan.

Derek we need you more then anything right now.

We found out that someone's been taking the bodies. Now we just need to find out who.

Our list of problems keep piling up.

Oh did I tell you Liam told his friend Mason about werewolves? Yeah the guys acts like I did when me and Scott first started out. I see alot of me and Scott in them.

I'm beginning to think that writing to you is pointless. Every time I walk into my room I see the box all the letters are in and it gets me down you know?

\- Stiles


	9. Chapter 9

Derek,

So apparently Theo is covering for me and I'm covering for him. I know this will I come back to bite me in the ass. Oh and me and Theo staked out at the vet clinic and the got knocked out. My jeep got flipped. I'm fine though.

But I really don't want to talk about what's happening to the pack in this letter. I just want to write.

Did you know when the pack came back from Mexico my dad handcuffed me to his desk? Yeah he said it was payback for making him worry.

How do you think I should tell him I like guys? 

You know I've been doing alot of thinking. I know I'm the only one you leaving hit the hardest, and I know why. You see I really don't know how I didn't see it before, but Der I love you.

I think I've always known. I mean it's always been me saving you and you saving me. Remember when I held on to your shoulder after Boyd died? I really wanted to hug you and never leave that night. I shouldn't have left you alone. 

Then when you were laying in the sand with a stab wound. I was so scared that it would be the last time I would see you. I hesitated leaving you, did you see it? 

Why am I telling you this? You probably don't care. 

I love you.

\- Stiles


	10. Chapter 10

Derek,

So, uh hey. Sorry I just feel weird after the last letter. 

Um, me and Lydia found out who was stealing the bodies. It was Parish. We still don't know what he is, I know Lydia is working hard to figure it out.

Kira killed someone. Well her Fox spirit did. Her dad took ythe blame, and she left Beacon Hills.

Liam's friend Hayden is a Chimera. 

We are swamped here Der, to much stuff I happening at once. 

My dad took off his wedding ring. But he's been different since he took it off, its like he's on edge.

Melissa is pissed at him. 

You know, it's like waiting for the eye of a hurricane. Everything will calm down then bang, back in to the storm. I'm beginning to think that this storm will never end. 

What sucks the most though, is that I'm only human. I can't help them. I feel so worthless. To top it off I think Scott is replacing me with Theo.

I feel like everyone would be better off with out me. That's a scary thought Der. I haven't felt like this since me my mom died. 

I'm scared, please back come home... Back to me.

\- Stiles


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Switching it up.

Beep beep beep.

The steady beat of his dad's heart monitor pounded into his brain. 

Beep beep beep.

He felt as if the machine was mocking him. 

"Stiles?" He heard someone say, but he did not pay attention to who was talking. Suddenly he felt a hand turn his face. 

"Stiles, you need to clean up." Melissa whispered, taking his face in between her hands. "You have blood all over you." 

Stiles whinched, yet another reminder of why he was here. Looking up into Melissa's eyes he gathered up enough courage to speak, "I don't have clothes." His voice caught.

Slowly letting go of Stiles she ushered Lydia into the room, "Lydia is going to to take you home to get washed up, changed, and hopefully get some food into you."

Sighing Stiles stood up reluctantly, he better than the argue with Melissa and Lydia. 

"Come on Stiles." Lydia said taking his hand.

He felt like a freak walking through the hall ways of he hospital, the nurses and doctors stared at him like he had grown a second head. He knew his dad was the talk of the town right now, it's not everyday the sheriff is attacked to the point of death.

We they reached the car Lydia stopped him from getting in. "Stiles." 

"Not now Lydia please, I just need to think."

"But Stiles you can't bottle it up," She paused, she took a deep breath and opened the car door for him ushering him inside. Stiles watched as she walked around and got in the car herself. "Stiles, you can't bottle this up, why not write Derek a letter." 

"I thought you wasn't going to talk about that." 

"Stiles it's been helping you."

"I know," he whispered. "Can we just go? I want to get back here as quick as I can."

Sighing Lydia started the car and pulled out of the parkinglot. The car ride was silent, and depressing, he could tell Lydia was wanting to talk more about the letters.

Once they pulled up to his house he quickly unlocked the door and went up to his room, to get some clothes.

"I'm going to run and get some food at the diner, I should be back with it by the time you're done." She said pulling him into a side hug to avoid the blood on his shirt. "If I'm not back right a letter okay?" She kissed his cheek and left.

Silently walking into the bathroom, he flicked the light on and stopped in his tracks, he glanced at the mirror and winced. His eyes were bloodshot, hair a mess, and blood was everywhere. Taking a couple more deep breaths he took his clothes off and climbed into the shower, once the water was hot he stood underneath the spray and watched he water turn pink.

Once the water started to turn cold he started to clean himself, stepping out of the tub he dried off and put his clothes on and went to sit at his desk.

The box of letters sat in front of him, all the things he wanted to say to Derek where rushing through his head, with out really thinking he grabbed some paper and a pen and wrote.

+

Derek,

I'm sinking. I'm drowning. Trying to stay strings isn't working no more. I need you now, more than ever. 

Scott found out about Donovan, he hates me now. He didn't even let me explain what had happened, Theo told him some bull shit lie that he believed.

My dad got attacked by Theo as well. He's not doing good. He lost a lot of blood an d had to have surgery. I'm afriad I'm going to lose him. I can't lose him Der he's all I have. 

Lydia told me to write this letter, she told me not to bottle up anything. So I'm not.

I wish you would have took me with you. I don't care where we would've went. I just need out of this town. Maybe once my dad is fine, if he makes it of course. I'll ask him if we can move.

He probably won't want to. So I'll be stuck here in till after college. If I even make it that far.

Derek I really wish you were here. I felt calm with you, after everything that happened with the nogitsune, you sorta became like an anchor to me. When I have panic attacks, just the thought of you stops them. I'm so gone on you.

Did you know I turned 18? No? Neither did I, in till I looked at the calendar. My birthday was yesterday in the mix of all the shit that went down.

My jeep is gone. It's dead. It was the last thing I had of my mom. Now it's gone as well. 

I have to go, Lydia just pulled up.

\- Stiles

+

"Stiles!" Lydia yelled as she walked through the door holding take out bags.

"No need to yell Lyds." He mumbled coming down the stairs.

"I got you curly fries and a burger" she smiled and handed him, his bag taking her own to the table. 

Setting his food on the table he smiled at her and went to go get two water bottles.

"Thank you," he said, as he handed her the water. 

They sat in silence for awhile eating. It was becoming unbearable for Stiles.

" Melissa called while I was gone," Lydia broke the silence, "she told me that your dad was doing fine and tha t if he wakes up tonight I might get to go home tomorrow."

Stiles perked up at that, "He gets to come home?"

"Yeah, so I asked Malia to come get you and take you back to the hospital while I clean up around here," she paused. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine. You don't have to clean though." 

Shaking her head Lydia finished up her food, " I don't have to, but I want to."

Smiling Stiles finished his food. "When's Malia coming?" He asked.

"Soon." 

+

"Bye Lyds." Stiles said, then kissed her cheek and walked out the door to meet Malia.

"Bye!" She called back.

Once he had left and she made sure he was gone she brought out her phone, and dailed a number she hadn't used in awhile.

"Hello?" The other person answered after a few rings.

"Um, hey Cora, it's Lydia."

"Oh hey how's things in Beacon Hills?"

"Thats actually why I'm calling, you see Stiles has been writing letters to Derek."

"Go on."

"He's struggling and I think he really needs him here, do you have a way that I can get a hold of him? A number, address, or email?"

"Actually I have something better hang on."

There was some shuffling on the other side of the phone and muffled voices. 

"Uh, hello?" She heard Derek ask into the phone.

"Derek, it's been awhile."

"Lydia?"

"The one and only."

"Is everything okay?"

"No not really, it's Stiles. He needs you."

"Stiles needs me? I thought he hated me."

"He does not hate you, hell he's been writing you letters since you left."

"What?"

"How fast can you get to his house?" Lydia finally got tired of going back and forth.

"About 4 hours why?"

"Because I have a couple things I need you to read, and a very sad boy for you to cheer up."

"Lydia I don't think-"

"No, Derek get here soon, I'll be waiting."

With that she hung up and sat down to wait.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
